The Second Day

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when balancing on an object (maybe a skateboard, or a rail of some sort), the feeling that lasts less than a second and occurs moments before you've realized that you're about to lose your balance and fall? That is currently my every second, my every time, here in college.

I feel like I'm about to lose my balance in terms of emotions. There are minutes where I feel so carefree and accepting of this new life I'm embarking on, and there are minutes where I'm completely terrified and dreading what's to come. I miss my family, my friends, and my heart aches.

BUT. I am aware that this is completely normal, and that it will only get better. The people here are wonderfully open. Today, we played a getting-to-know you game in a group of about 16 people. We were supposed to go around the room and say our hometown and fact about ourselves. My favorite fact came from a boy from Hot Springs. When his time came to reveal a personal tidbit, he said simply, quietly and with understated grace, "I like trees."

It was silent in the room because people didn't know if he was joking or not; the tone with which he spoke could easily have been mastered dead-pannism, but at the same time his demeanor was so innocent and his face so open, indicating the sort of pure, dream-like honesty that comes from children.

He continued with, "All of them. I think they are so beautiful."

The designated leader of the discussion broke the silence and made some sort of awkward, half-hearted quip, and the next person accidentally stumbled over the moderator's joke, voicing their hometown and a fact about themselves that I can't remember.

Later that evening, as we were dismissed from the meeting and walking back to our dorms, I made sure to walk next to him as we made our way across the campus. [Sidenote: this was my first time to walk across Hendrix in the darkness. It was dimly lit by old-fashioned street lights and the campus looked hauntingly beautiful]. I asked him, "Why do you like trees so much?"

He responded, "I don't really know...I kind of see them as the source of all life, and I appreciate them in that respect."

It was so thoughtful and kind, and really brightened my spirits. I hope to see him around more, and that I continue to cross paths with lovely little things who find beauty in the world around them.