The Second Day

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when balancing on an object (maybe a skateboard, or a rail of some sort), the feeling that lasts less than a second and occurs moments before you've realized that you're about to lose your balance and fall? That is currently my every second, my every time, here in college.

I feel like I'm about to lose my balance in terms of emotions. There are minutes where I feel so carefree and accepting of this new life I'm embarking on, and there are minutes where I'm completely terrified and dreading what's to come. I miss my family, my friends, and my heart aches.

BUT. I am aware that this is completely normal, and that it will only get better. The people here are wonderfully open. Today, we played a getting-to-know you game in a group of about 16 people. We were supposed to go around the room and say our hometown and fact about ourselves. My favorite fact came from a boy from Hot Springs. When his time came to reveal a personal tidbit, he said simply, quietly and with understated grace, "I like trees."

It was silent in the room because people didn't know if he was joking or not; the tone with which he spoke could easily have been mastered dead-pannism, but at the same time his demeanor was so innocent and his face so open, indicating the sort of pure, dream-like honesty that comes from children.

He continued with, "All of them. I think they are so beautiful."

The designated leader of the discussion broke the silence and made some sort of awkward, half-hearted quip, and the next person accidentally stumbled over the moderator's joke, voicing their hometown and a fact about themselves that I can't remember.

Later that evening, as we were dismissed from the meeting and walking back to our dorms, I made sure to walk next to him as we made our way across the campus. [Sidenote: this was my first time to walk across Hendrix in the darkness. It was dimly lit by old-fashioned street lights and the campus looked hauntingly beautiful]. I asked him, "Why do you like trees so much?"

He responded, "I don't really know...I kind of see them as the source of all life, and I appreciate them in that respect."

It was so thoughtful and kind, and really brightened my spirits. I hope to see him around more, and that I continue to cross paths with lovely little things who find beauty in the world around them.

My First Day at Hendrix College

Hello all. I've always enjoyed writing, as it proves to be a cathartic exercise that simultaneously allows my brain to expand (however temporarily) with the strain of conveying my thoughts into words, while allowing me to relive my day's experiences.

Today. Was my first day. At Hendrix College.

Preface: Hendrix is a very family-friendly school and caters to your every whim in an attempt to make you as comfortable as possible in such a shocking situation. This week, only the freshmen move in on campus, and over the weekend, the class takes field trips in groups to places all over Arkansas as a bonding experience. When the freshmen return from said trips, the sophomores and upperclassmen have moved in, and we all get friendly and heavy with lovins.

Last night, as I sat in my hotel room in Conway, Arkansas, preparing to move in to my dorm the next morning, I began reflecting on all of the memories plumped by summer, and felt so sad. I miss my home and my bed and my windows and you [if you're reading this, know with 100% certainty you have crossed my mind and I miss you]. deeply.

This morning, my family drove up to this beautiful park of a school in our rented mini-van. We looked so American and typical with our suitcases and the teary-eyed parents. I checked into Couch, my dorm and the only co-ed one on campus, and was greeted by friendly faces ready to explain anything that needed explaining. I really appreciated that.

I walked up to my room, and met my room mate EVA!! She's even more adorable in person than she is on facebook which is hard to believe (eva ur prob reading this now hi eva). Anyways, I'm so lucky to have such a sweet soul sharing this new lYfE with me.

Tonight, we had our first COUCH HALL meeting, so all of the freshmen met in the main room and played get-to-know -you games. It was intensely needed and de-stressifying, as silly as they were. All day long I had been really upset and confused and overwhelmed by this whole college thing. I still am, but I will adjust. Anyways, afterwards the entire dorm played a midnight game of 'Zombies' that took place all over campus. SO GOOD SO GOOD.

S0rrry if I have bored you. I hope to take you along with me on this new life I'm embarking on, and I hope you can gain as much from the experience as I do, even if it's in a different form. Have a beautiful night.